The Triangle

There's something I learned in a marriage class in college. It's called the triangle. The idea is that a relationship isn't as functional if there are only two people involved. Imagine a line with you on one end and your partner at the other. This is a great way to communicate, but if there is any interference that line can be severed.

For example. Let's say I've had a long day. My husband's at work and I've had the baby all day. Our little man has been a handful and gotten into everything in the house so it's VERY messy. I've done the laundry and made all of the days meals and am feeling pretty good. I put the baby down to nap and put my feet up. Just then my husband comes home from a hard day at work. The first thing he sees is his wife passed out on the couch. The house is a mess, and obviously his wife hasn't done a thing to clean it. My husband might then say something along the lines of, "wow the house is a mess." This little comment has all the power in the world to upset me, even if it's just an observation. I get defensive and we have a messy argument!

An argument would represent a break in the line connecting my husband and I. We just took a pair of scissors and cut communication so our line isn't attached well any more. In this situation it would be easy to go to those that we are close to; family, close friends, coworkers, etc... and discuss our problems and the huge fight that we had just had. I might talk about how my husband doesn't understand the difficulty of raising the kids, keeping up the house and any other number of daily tasks that fall on my shoulders. My husband might feel that he works very hard to support a crazy lady who's not always doing what she "should be" to contribute to the family.

Such feelings, when discussed with an outside party typically only grow. Often if that's not the case then the couple might forgive one another and move on with their lives only to find an angry sister-in-law two weeks later who's still upset about her brother's wife being such a "lazy leech!"

So if we're frustrated at one another and are having a hard time communicating and we don't get to vent to an outside party, what do we do? This is where the triangle comes into play.

Take that mental image of a line that you had in your head with you on one end and your partner at the other. Now I want you to envision that line as the base of an equilateral triangle. At the top of this triangle I want you to put a higher power. If you are religious than it can be God. If you're more spiritually minded, call it the universe. Whatever or whomever it is that you consider far greater than yourself, that's what you want to add into your relationship.

It is this power that can sustain you throughout hardships and if you and your companion are both connected to it then you are united regardless of the miscommunication between the two of you. You have someone to vent to who is completely unbiased and won't give bad advice. It's beautiful! When a couple is united in belief and purpose nothing can stop them.